


Follow Your Beating Heart

by naeuioneonenine



Series: the end was decided from the beginning [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Happy Ending, M/M, kind of heavy angst, lovely boys in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:49:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23313421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naeuioneonenine/pseuds/naeuioneonenine
Summary: Mark isn’t expecting to go have to pick a very drunk Jeno on a Thursday night, but when he gets a call from an unknown number at three a.m., he knows something must be wrong.The bar Jeno is at is close, and the bartender looks up when he enters, handing over Jeno’s phone and keys and pointing at the end of the bar.“What happened?” Mark asks, taking his drink and handing him a glass of water instead.“I think… I think Jaemin is cheating on me.”Mark freezes. “What?”“I think Jaemin is cheating on me,” Jeno repeats, staring into the glass in his hands. “Is this vodka?”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: the end was decided from the beginning [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658797
Comments: 28
Kudos: 357





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> notes:  
> angst! angsty angsty angst but happy ending! do not worry ^^  
> uh, big fat miscommunications abound in this one woof  
> buckle up kiddos!

Mark isn’t expecting to go have to pick a very drunk Jeno on a Thursday night, but when he gets a call from an unknown number at three a.m., he knows something must be wrong. 

The bar Jeno somehow ended up at is close, only a ten-minute drive (six minutes if you’re speeding, which Mark definitely is) away from their apartment. The bartender looks up when he enters, handing over Jeno’s phone and keys and pointing at the end of the bar.

“He’s been here for a while. I cut him off like half an hour ago but he’s in pretty bad shape. Thanks for coming.”

“Sure,” Mark says. It’s pretty quiet, only a few patrons scattered around the tables, a couple sucking face in a corner. And Jeno, slouched over the bar, an empty glass in his hand that he tries to drink from while Mark watches. 

“Oh, Jeno,” he sighs, heading over. “What are you doing?” The blonde doesn’t respond, groaning in protest when Mark pulls the glass out of his grasp and practically picks him up, supporting him and calling his thanks to the bartender, who nods and goes back to cleaning up. They pause just outside for Jeno to throw up into the bushes, and then Mark sits him in the passenger seat of his car with a plastic bag in his hands. “If you feel like throwing up again please do it in the bag.” Jeno makes some sort of acknowledging noise and Mark sighs again.

Picking up a drunk friend isn’t that weird, but it is weird that it’s Jeno. Much more often they’re following a drunk Jaemin around, but Jaemin also rarely gets drunk enough to be as out of it as Jeno is. Jeno doesn’t usually drink that much, and almost never on his own. 

The drive back is quiet and takes thirteen minutes because Mark drives as gently as he can manage so Jeno doesn’t vomit all over his car. It’s not a very nice car, but Mark would rather it not smell like stomach acid and vodka. Jeno is as helpless getting up to the apartment as he was getting out of the bar and leans against Mark’s side in the elevator. 

He seems a bit more composed when Mark sits him down with a glass of water, lifting his feet so Mark can get his shoes off. 

“What happened?” Mark asks, turning away to gather up Jeno’s pajamas. He hopes Jeno can change and brush his teeth on his own. He’s really,  _ really  _ drunk. 

“I think… I think Jaemin is cheating on me.”

Mark freezes, dropping Jeno’s pajama shirt. “What?”

“I think Jaemin is cheating on me,” Jeno repeats, staring into the glass in his hands. “Is this vodka?”

“Why do you think that?” Mark takes it from his hand after he downs half of it, watching Jeno sniffle and tip over onto his side. 

“Look,” he says, stretching his neck to the side and pointing at a cluster of spots on his collarbone.

“Hickies? Why does that mean he’s cheating on you?”

“They showed up earlier today,” Jeno mumbles, pressing his face into his pillow. “I haven’t seen Jaemin since Tuesday. So they aren’t from me.”

“Oh,” Mark whispers, running his fingers through Jeno’s hair. “Oh, Jeno, I- have you asked him about it?”

“Of course not. How am I supposed to do that? ‘Hey, Jaemin, noticed you have a bunch of hickies and we haven’t had sex since Monday night. How’d those get there? Dunno if you forgot or whatever, but I get your bruises. Love you!’” He sniffles again and Mark panics as he starts crying, hands fluttering around. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you know Jaemin’s not the type to play around like that-”

“What if he is though,” Jeno interrupts tearily, shaking his head. “What if he’s tired of me? I’m not- you know I’m not as, as, as  _ everything  _ as Jaemin is. What if he decided he wants someone better?”

“There’s no one better for him than you,” Mark says, giving in and wiping Jeno's face with his fingers. “You’re soulmates. Perfect matches. And he loves you a lot, I know he does. He wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“Then you try to explain the hickies.” Jeno shakes his head. “What, he got in some weird accident where he just got a bunch of mouth-shaped bruises all over his neck? If you have any ideas I’d love to hear them.” Mark doesn’t have an answer, not really, and Jeno knows it. He shakes his head again, pressing his face into the pillows. “I need to throw up again,” he mumbles, voice muffled. “Can you help me to the bathroom?”

“Of course,” Mark says because this much at least he can do. “We’ll talk about this more in the morning, okay? When you’re feeling a bit more clear-headed.”

Jeno doesn’t answer, and Mark hauls him into the bathroom just in time for him to empty what little he has left in his stomach into the toilet. 

“Everything will work out,” he says, brushing Jeno’s hair off his forehead and rubbing his back. “It’ll be okay.”

Jeno shudders, and then cries himself to sleep.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The morning comes with a bang, literally. The sound of their front door slamming into the wall wakes Jeno up, groaning. He forgot to close his curtains and the sun is right in his eyes.

“Shit,” he mumbles, turning over in his bed and stretching his arm out until it hits something solid. Mark winces, rolls over and promptly falls off the mattress.

“Ouch.”

“Sorry,” Jeno says, leaning over the edge to peer down at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“No. My head is killing me. Why’d you let me get drunk?”

Mark rolls his eyes. “I didn’t  _ let  _ you get drunk, you’re an adult and can make your own choices. In fact, I picked you up from-”

“Lee Jeno!”

“Oh no.” Jeno ducks below the comforter and pulls it over his head. “It’s Jaemin. I can’t talk to him right now. I can’t. I’m gonna start crying again and will probably say something I’ll regret. Fuck. Everything hurts. Tell him to go away.”

“I don’t think-”

“You will do no such thing, Mark,” a voice comes from the direction of the doorway, much too loud for Jeno’s liking. “Why are you on the floor? Whatever. I don’t care. Jeno, get out from there. We need to talk.”

“Please go away,” Jeno whispers, curling deeper into the dark comfort of the blankets. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“YOU don’t want to talk to ME? How dare you, Jeno, you-” Jaemin is angry, and loud, and getting louder. “Don’t you hide from me. I think I at least deserve an explanation.”

“An explanation for what? Why do I have to explain myself? I didn’t even do anything-”

The covers are thrown off of him and he’s met with a furious, worn-out and crying Jaemin, and Jeno thinks he’s beautiful even with rage turning his cheeks red. “Then explain why my neck is fucking covered in hickies that sure aren’t mine,” he shouts breathlessly, face crumpling. “Explain, Lee Jeno, why I woke up with a sore ass despite not seeing you since Tuesday.”

“What?” Jeno finally looks up at him, blinking, and his anger goes out the window. “What? No, I’m supposed to ask you that.”

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna go make coffee,” Mark says groggily from where he’s still lying on the floor. “Uh, hope you guys work this out.” He shuffles out the door, leaving Jaemin glaring at Jeno.

“Well? Explain. Now, before I decide to leave, soulmate or not.”

“I… the hickies aren’t mine? I thought they were yours,” Jeno says, confused, and Jaemin scoffs.

“Right, like that makes any fucking sense. Tell me the truth, Jeno.”

“I am! I didn’t cheat on you!”

“Neither did I! How could you think that I cheated on you when you-”

“It wasn’t me! I promise, Nana, I wouldn’t-”

“So you thought it was me? I know you think I’m a slut and I get that you want someone who, I dunno, is better for you than I am-”

“What?” Jeno stops Jaemin with a hand on his arm. “What? I don’t think any of that.”

“Then why did you sleep with someone else?” Jaemin asks, looking away, tears rolling down his cheeks. “If not because I’m not good enough?”

“I’m trying to tell you, Nana, I didn’t. I was at school yesterday and then went to work. And then these hickies showed up and I went to the bar and drank until Mark had to come and pick me up. You can ask my coworkers. I barely even had time to talk to anyone else.” He takes Jaemin’s wrist and pulls him down to sit on the mattress. “Jaemin, you’re perfect. I think you’re perfect. Don’t say things like that about yourself. I’ve never, ever thought you weren’t… weren’t good enough. I should be the one saying that.”

Jaemin cracks, breaks, collapsing into Jeno’s arms. “I thought maybe you heard what other people were saying about me and decided you didn’t want me anymore. What do you mean the hickies aren’t from you? I was at the library after my classes and then went home early. I didn’t see anyone all evening.”

Jeno’s head spins and a headache pounds against his temples. “Who is saying that? Fuck them. I don’t care about what other people think about us, Nana, and I never thought you were a slut. If they’re not yours and they’re not mine then whose are they?” He tugs Jaemin closer, still wildly confused, and presses a light kiss to his forehead. “I’m too hungover for this.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Jaemin says weakly, shaking his head. “Please, Jeno, I-”

“I’m not lying, I wouldn’t lie to you about this. Jaemin, listen to me.” Jeno takes his soulmate’s chin and tips his face up until he’s looking at him. “I love you. Just you. You’re wonderful, and perfect, and I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. I don’t know what’s going on but I know that I’d never cheat on you and I’ve never once thought you were anything less than amazing.”

“I don’t understand,” Jaemin shakily whispers, and Jeno kisses him again, softly. 

“I don’t either,” he replies, “but my head really, really hurts and it’s too early for this. Can we like, sleep, or something, before we continue? Please don’t ever think you aren’t good enough. I love you.”

Jaemin nods, burrowing closer. “I love you too,” he mumbles, “and I’m sorry for accusing you of cheating on me.”

“‘S fine,” Jeno mumbles, already dozing off again to the smell of coffee and the warm press of Jaemin against his body. “We’ll talk about it later.”

‘Later’ ends up being several hours, when Jeno wakes up again to an empty bed. His curtains are drawn and there’s a glass of water with some ibuprofen next to it on his bedside table. He can hear humming from the kitchen. Jaemin must be cooking something. 

He groans and rolls out of bed, drinking the whole glass of water at once and stretching. The humming stops and he hears footsteps.

“Jeno?”

“Ughhh.”

Jaemin laughs, opening the door. He’s wearing that dumb apron that Jeno bought him for Christmas, the yellow one that says “Kiss the cook!” in bubble letters with an arrow pointing down. It’s impossible to hold back a smile, especially when Jaemin comes in carrying a bowl with what smells like hangover stew in it.

“You’re an angel,” Jeno says, laughing when Jaemin smacks his reaching hands away and takes it upon himself to feed Jeno spoonful by spoonful. “It’s delicious,” he moans between bites, and Jaemin grins.

“Of course. Everything tastes better when I make it.”

Jeno hums in agreement and then his gaze falls on Jaemin’s neck and collarbone, still dotted with faint marks. Jaemin notices his stare and sighs, putting the bowl down. 

“I don’t know how it’s possible,” he begins, “but we have matching ones. Like, all the ones I have are in the same places on you. I checked earlier while you were still sleeping. So unless somehow we managed to have sex yesterday and completely have forgotten about it, something else is going on.”

“I don’t think I could ever have sex with you and forget it,” Jeno muses without thinking, and Jaemin flushes, blinking at him. Jeno’s cheeks heat up after an awkward beat of silence. “Um. Anyways. So… what could it be? If they aren’t yours and they aren’t mine.”

“I did some light searching on the internet.” Jaemin pulls out his phone and pulls up his browser. “And there are like, a few theories as to why it could happen but one that kept coming up is that we just have a third soulmate.”

“A what? That’s impossible.”

“Apparently it’s not,” Jaemin says, leaning into Jeno’s side and scrolling through a blog post to show Jeno. “It’s super uncommon, but not impossible.” Jeno reads over his shoulder.

“ _ Having a soulmate is remarkable in itself, as some studies put it at only 15% of the population having soulmates. Scientists have yet to identify what it is that causes or effects soulmate bonds, and many believe that science will never be able to completely explain it. In almost all cases, two people are born with a connection that causes them to feel each other’s sensory experiences—  _ what a weird way to say that.  _ However, there are some exceptions as there are recorded cases of soulmates being between three people. It’s not known yet if it’s possible to have more than three people in a single soulmate bond. People who are in groups of three say that sometimes the effects are stronger or weaker on some or all of the partners, or that proximity can affect how much they can sense each other. It’s possible that some people have a third soulmate and don’t ever figure it out or find them, _ ” Jeno finishes, and Jaemin nods.

“So unless we got in some freak accident and have no recollection of it, I think we might have a third soulmate.”

Jeno whistles, lost in thought. “How do we figure out for sure? How do we go about finding them? We were lucky enough to find each other.”

“I dunno,” Jaemin says, putting his phone down. “I don’t even know how to feel about the possibility that there’s a third person out there that has been getting burned fingertips for years.”

“Yikes.” Jeno thinks of all the bruises he used to get during soccer practices, and then of some of the more wild escapades he and Jaemin have had. He blushes and looks away and Jaemin snickers.

“Thinking about bruises?”

“You know me too well. I was thinking about that time you pushed me too hard in the shower trying to deepthroat for the first time and I hit my back on the knobs.”

“And that time I asked you to scratch me and then you freaked out when it made me bleed.”

“Enough,” Jeno says, laughing. “How did we never notice? Has our soulmate just never gotten hurt seriously enough for us to question it?”

Jaemin shrugs. “I guess? I don’t know.”

The front door to the apartment opens and Mark’s voice announces that he’s home from classes.

“Jaemin, are you ready for work?” Jeno asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Shit,” Jaemin gasps, standing. “I forgot. Uh, do you still have my extra polo?”

“Yeah. It’s in my pajama drawer.”

“...Why?”

Jeno doesn’t answer.

“Hey, Jaemin, are you ready to go to work?” Mark peeks in after making sure they’re both decent. “Hey, Jeno. How’re you feeling? Better?”

“Yeah, much better.” He’s grateful that Mark doesn’t ask about the hickies but he’s sure to be interrogated later. “How was class?”

“Fine.” Mark is quiet for a moment before shrugging. “Jaemin, we gotta get going. Hurry up and get ready- not, not right-” Mark groans as Jaemin pulls his shirt off, never one to be shy. “Whatever.”

“Like what you see?” Jaemin teases, and Mark turns red. Jeno laughs. “You’re always-”

“Welcome to join, I know,” Mark grumbles, shaking his head. “I don’t want to have a threesome with you. It’d be too weird to think about the soulmate thing.”

Jaemin blinks and then exchanges a look with Jeno before a smirk spreads across his lips. “So is that what’s holding you back? You’ve thought about it?”

“No! I mean, y- no, I haven’t,” Mark shouts, voice climbing an octave. “Leave me alone, you horny devil. I’m not having sex with you, or Jeno, or both of you.” He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly while Jeno laughs. “We have to go. We’re gonna be late.”

“I’m sure Seulgi would understand,” Jaemin calls after him. “She thinks you’re hot too!”

“Fuck off!”

“You gotta give him a break,” Jeno says, still giggling. 

“He’s just so easy to work up.” Jaemin grins, all teeth, and finishes buttoning up the top of his shirt. “Are you gonna tell him? About there being a third of us.”

“Probably.” Jeno shrugs. “I don’t know though. He’s… it’s been rough, lately. I’ll talk to him about it after work. Which you really need to get going, by the way. Come on. I’ll drive you two.”

Jeno spends the next four hours finishing up homework and then doing more research on the possibility of a third soulmate. The more that he looks into it the more things line up, remembering marks on his skin that hadn’t come from him or Jaemin that they had just chalked up to an accident neither of them had noticed. And as he sits in his room in the fading light and contemplates, the thought of another soulmate settles in his chest comfortably, and then empties into a longing ache and Jeno knows,  _ this is it. _

When Mark gets home later, Jeno’s still awake, playing video games in their living room.

“Were you waiting up for me?”

“Hmm? Yeah.” Jeno pauses his game and looks up, preparing to tell Mark about their third piece until he sees the look on his face. “Mark? Are you okay?”

Mark shakes his head, dropping onto the couch and leaning back, closing his eyes. “No.”

“What happened?”

“Can you get the first aid kit,” Mark murmurs, stretching his arm out and Jeno gasps quietly at the state of his hand, scratched up and bleeding. Jeno swallows, nodding.

“I’m gonna guess those aren’t yours,” Jeno says a few minutes later, wrapping the last bandage around Mark’s palm. 

“Nope.”

“When did they show up?”

“During my bus ride home.”

“Mark-” 

“Don’t.”

“-do you want me to put that shirt in the laundry,” Jeno finishes, and Mark scrunches his face.

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s fine.” Jeno decides right there to keep the third soulmate business to himself because Mark doesn’t need more to worry about when it comes to soulmates. He’ll talk to Jaemin about it tomorrow but for now, he needs to finish his best friend duties. So he finishes cleaning up, and makes sure Mark gets into bed and asleep. 

Jaemin agrees, which isn’t too much of a surprise. They’re usually on the same page about most things, however, the solution Jaemin proposes to finding a soulmate is not one Jeno initially agrees with.

“But what if we just asked?”

“If we asked everyone we spoke to if they’d have a threesome with us? I don’t think that’s a good measure for finding a soulmate,” Jeno says, frowning down at his latte. “How are we going to figure out if they’re our soulmate just from having sex?”

“I mean, we figured it out because our soulmate got hickies,” Jaemin points out, taking Jeno’s hand and using his other to take a bite of Jenos’ cake. “Plus, that one time you had that fantasy about-”

Jeno shushes him loudly, eyes wide. “Don’t- you don’t have to bring that up,” he stammers, face flushing. “Uh-”

“That fantasy you had once about someone joining us and-”

Desperate times call for desperate measures, Jeno thinks, leaning over the table and kissing Jaemin square on the mouth in their favorite cafe. Jaemin just laughs and wipes frosting on Jeno’s cheek.

“I think we could just try it, try asking, and then feel it out from there. We can talk more about it later, but you have class in 10 minutes and need to get going.”

“Shit,” Jeno swears, glancing at his watch. “I do. Thanks, babe. I’ll see you later, okay?” He kisses Jaemin once more for good measure and then leaves with a final, “love you, Nana!”

Hansol says yes.

Jeno likes Hansol, and Jaemin likes Hansol. He’s a tech in one of Jaemin’s labs, and had been Jeno’s neighbor during freshman year. He’s nice, and he’s friendly, and he’s hot. Apparently both Jeno and Jaemin had independently considered going out with him before meeting, which makes Hansol laugh when Jeno confesses.

“Do you want to have a threesome with us?” Jaemin asks, his new million-dollar question. Hansol stares at him, a fry falling out of his mouth that Jaemin swoops up and pops in his own. They’re having lunch on campus after Jaemin’s lab, and Hansol looks like Jaemin might have just proposed to him.

“What?”

“A threesome,” Jeno says, smiling. Jaemin nods.

“Aren’t you two… you know, soulmates?” Hansol gestures between them with a flap of his hand. “Why… why are you asking me?”

“We think it might be fun to spice things up a bit,” Jaemin answers, playing with Jeno’s fingers. “You don’t have to, of course, and we get if it’s kind of weird. Just a one-time thing. Probably,” he adds, glancing at Jeno. “No strings attached.”

A one-time thing if it’s casual, not if he ends up being their missing piece. No strings attached, unless the red thread of fate counts. Jeno fidgets in his chair. Hansol looks between them.

“Really? Are you sure that wouldn’t be… weird? I don’t wanna intrude or anything. I’d be down for a threesome but only if you guys are really okay with it.”

“Of course!” Jaemin says, tightening his grasp on Jeno’s hand. “It’ll be fine. Just to try something new.” Jeno squeezes back and nods.

“If it makes you uncomfortable you can back out at any time,” he adds, “and, of course, either of us can. We’ve talked about it and want to try but, you know, things always seem different in the moment.” He laughs, and Jaemin giggles, leaning against him.

“Right. So it won’t be a problem! What do you say?”

Hansol says yes, and they finish eating.

Jeno doesn’t know why he didn’t expect it to be an immediate thing, like they’d wrap up lunch, part ways, and set up a later date. Instead, when Hansol asks when, Jaemin says now, and Jeno leads the way to the apartment, feeling less and less sure with each step. It’s comfortable, mostly; Hansol chats the whole walk about classes and his new roommates, reminisces about freshman year with Jeno, and complains about the lab with Jaemin. They talked about this, Jaemin and Jeno. They talked about threesomes, what it would mean if they did with someone not in their soulbond, and what they’d do if it ended up that it was their third soulmate. They talked about it for hours and yet, when Jaemin takes Hansol by the hand and leads him deeper into his apartment, Jeno falters. He watches Jaemin smile at Hansol, the same way he smiles at everyone, and feels something start to cave in his chest like ice that’s too weak to hold his weight. It doesn’t crack, so he follows them in.

Jaemin is waiting for him, and tugs him close to kiss him, never shy about affection in front of other people. He doesn’t hold back, pressing closer and closer and taking Jeno’s face between his hands. His tongue slips into his mouth and this is familiar, this is normal, this is his Jaemin. 

“Are you okay?” Jaemin whispers, trailing kisses down Jeno’s jaw and neck. 

“I’m- I think so,” he murmurs, because he does think so. He trusts Jaemin with everything. The person in the room he doesn’t trust is himself. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” Jaemin turns away after another gentle press of his lips, and takes Jeno’s hand. Jeno’s heart swells even through the fog of uncertainty. “Hansol, you good?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah,” Hansol says, laughing. “Just kind of in disbelief. You both are like, really hot.” Jaemin laughs and pulls Jeno with him to step closer.

“Obviously we gotta have some like, guidelines, since it’s our first time too. So, maybe nothing too… intimate? Maybe hold off on kisses,” Jaemin looks at Jeno for agreement and he immediately nods, “and also let us initiate things, I guess. Anything else you can think of, Jeno?”

“Protection?” He offers, clearing his throat and Jaemin giggles, nodding. 

“Right, of course. If that’s settled then, let’s get to it.”

“Right,” Jeno repeats, and suddenly feels disconnected from his body, watching Jaemin move in, tipping his head to the side in an invitation that Hansol takes after another glance in Jeno’s direction. He must look okay because Hansol runs his fingers up Jaemin’s arm, lightly brushing against Jaemin’s jaw. Jaemin shivers and Jeno’s watching from above himself as Hansol leans in, and Jeno can’t see his mouth but he knows he’s kissing Jaemin’s shoulder, maybe teasing at his collar bone just below the neckline of Jaemin’s shirt. He hears the telltale sound of suction over skin, and Jaemin hums, hand still linked with Jeno’s. 

It builds and builds and Hansol moves his lips and maybe his teeth to Jaemin’s clavicle and it  _ breaks.  _ Jeno feels the tingling of a mark that’s not his on his neck and has to yank his hand away, shaking his head.

“Jeno?”

“Sorry- sorry, I- I can’t. I can’t do it.”

“What do you mean?” Jaemin turns, looking at him with slightly narrowed eyes, and Hansol takes a step back.

“I thought it was fine but I don’t think it is. I’m sorry,” Jeno mutters, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Hansol interrupts Jaemin’s response, smiling and oh, he’s too kind and there isn’t even a ghost of a hickey on his neck. “No worries.” He pauses awkwardly and then laughs uncomfortably. “I’ll- I’ll uh, go. To be honest I probably shouldn’t have said yes. But it’s okay. Thanks for lunch! Um, I’ll see you next class, Jaemin? And Jeno, we should get dinner sometime. Text me.”

“Will do,” Jeno says, and feels like an asshole because Hansol just waves and then is gone, leaving tension thicker than water hanging in the air in Jaemin’s room. He sucks in a breath and feels like drowning. “Sorry.”

“You said you were okay,” Jaemin states plainly, and Jeno can’t figure out what the look in his eyes means.

“I was. It was. But- I- I just...”

“Talk to me, Jeno. But what?”

“But- I, I saw you, with him, and it wasn’t okay. And, and he didn’t get the bruise anyway, so, it’s not him. I-” Jeno looks up and sees a smattering of purple over Jaemin’s skin and feels like he’s going to be sick because someone else left those, and it wasn’t Jeno. And he’s not angry, because it’s not Hansol’s fault and it’s not Jaemin’s fault but Jeno looks and looks and all he can see is someone else curled over Jaemin’s shoulder, someone else who made those pretty sounds fall from Jaemin’s mouth, and a new emotion slams into him like a wrecking ball. 

Hansol becomes a stranger, a face Jeno’s never seen before, and then another, and suddenly Jaemin feels so far away, as if they’ve never met before, and there are bruises on him from someone else. Jeno gasps, and takes a faltering step away.

“Jeno?”

He shakes his head, trying to push the images of Jaemin happier with other people away but they’re already here. He remembers hearing Jaemin talk fondly of his past flings, and he’s never, never thought less of his soulmate because of it but he wonders if Jaemin is content with him. He’s spiraling, thoughts curling and condensing like rain clouds.

“Hey, Jeno, tell me what’s going on,” Jaemin says from miles away, hands pushing through the fog and landing on Jeno’s cheeks. He can’t help the flinch. Jaemin frowns. “Jeno, what’s wrong?”

The question presses against the back of his teeth until he can’t swallow it back anymore.

“Are you happy with me?” He cringes immediately at his words, and can see the moment when Jaemin processes the question.

“What?”

“Nevermind-”

“No, Jeno, what? Did you ask me if I’m happy with you? What do you mean?” Jeno wants Jaemin to stop frowning, wants him to smile and tell him he loves him but Jeno hates that the question remains.

“I-”

“What brought this on? Why are you asking me that?”

“Please, Jaemin, just-” Jeno takes a weak breath and averts his eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. It slipped out.”

“Slipped out? Asking your soulmate if they’re happy after someone else touched them isn’t a question that just slips out, Jeno.”

“I know, I know-”

Is Jaemin angry? Jeno’s not sure. He’s upset, though, and it shows. “You have to tell me, Jeno, I can’t read your mind,” he says, gentle but firm. He takes Jeno’s hand and Jeno stares at their fingers, wondering if he deserves it, if he deserves Jaemin.

“Are you happy,” he whispers without looking up, “settling for me?”

“What?” Jaemin’s voice is sharp and he drops Jeno’s hand as quickly as he’d taken it. Jeno flounders and wishes he could take the question back.

“I- I just was thinking- you know, this whole, this whole third soulmate thing, and I’m not- I’m not, not really… not your type, maybe, or your usual type, or- what your type used to be, and I kind of just freaked out because I know you like- or liked, at least- to try new things, and maybe that means new people, too, and I- I just want you to be happy? And,” he swallows, trying to fight his blurring vision, “I… I get it, I guess. I don’t want you to feel trapped. By me. Or bored. I know I’m not as… as interesting as you are, and I’m not,” Jeno struggles and struggles and forces the words out. “Not what you wanted. Or want. I’m not...” _good_ _enough._ “And if you aren’t happy, or, or if you’re just settling with me because we’re soulmates, then… maybe… if you want,” Jeno inhales and shuts his eyes. “If you- if you want to… to- find someone else you should. If it makes you happy. I don’t want to hold you back.” His chest aches and his heart drips all over Jaemin’s floor under his feet but he has to say it, he has to make Jaemin understand that he would get it. That it would hurt but he’d get over it if Jaemin was happy. 

“Get out.”

Jeno’s head snaps up, but Jaemin’s not looking at him, not even facing him. His soulmate has his back turned, hands clenched into fists that he pulls away when Jeno reaches for him. “Jaemin-”

“Get out of my apartment, Jeno.”

“Nana, wait-”

“I’m not gonna say it again,” Jaemin says lowly, voice tight. Jeno tries and fails to stifle a gasp at his tone, and the water closes over his head and he can’t see the sunlight anymore. “Go, Jeno.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeno whispers, backing away until he hits the doorframe. “I’m sorry, Jaemin.” He doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for but he must have said something wrong. Jaemin doesn’t respond and Jeno trips on his feet out the door, leaving a trail of the shards of a broken heart. Jaemin doesn’t turn around. 

It’s mid-afternoon and so, so bright outside and the clear weather mocks the storm brewing between them. Jeno ignores the curious and concerned stares of the people around him, stumbling all the way home. He grasps at the pieces of himself that he knows, the parts that know which steps to take and the path to his bedroom, where he stops, because Jaemin’s everywhere in his room, in the extra pairs of socks in his drawers to the jacket draped over a chair, and they didn’t break up, can’t, but somehow, Jeno feels like he’s made a horrible mistake. There’s an extra pillow on his bed because Jaemin complains about how his neck hurts, and a Ryan plushie from one of their first dates leaning against the wall. 

Jeno drops onto his bed, pulls the blankets up, tugs the stuffed bear closer, and lets the storm sweep him away.

_ Nana, _

_ I’m sure you don’t want to hear from me. I don’t know what I said that was wrong, but maybe it was all of it. I don’t know what to say to you. All I can do is apologize again, and again, because maybe you’re finally realizing that I won’t be enough for you. Can’t be, really.  _

_ We’re soulmates, and that won’t change. I don’t think it can, at least, although, if this really has to be it, maybe we can look into our options. I don’t know if we’ll ever find our third soulmate, or if they’d even want to be with me. They’d be foolish to not want to be with you though, because you’re so brilliant and everything I’m not.  _

_ Maybe if I had loved you better, I would have realized this sooner and we wouldn’t be here. Instead, I wanted to think that I was good enough and could treat you well, which I think this text proves I can’t. Maybe we wouldn’t be in this fight if I had loved you better than I did. Are we even fighting? I’m not sure anymore. _

_ You deserve better than settling, Jaemin, and if this is the solution to that then this can be… maybe not a goodbye, because I don’t think I could never see you again, even if it kills me. More of a good luck, really. I’ve thought about this a lot. You deserve someone who can give you all the love and happiness in the world, and I thought I could do that. I don’t think I can, I don’t think I have enough. _

_ Jaemin, I love you more than anything else I’ve ever known, and I hope this stops hurting soon.  _

_ -Jeno _

His finger hovers over the send button, and Jeno takes a deep breath. He has to. He has to tell Jaemin, because it’s been two days of silence and Jeno can’t take it anymore. Even Mark noticed, and Mark doesn’t notice anything.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Jeno’s head snaps up and there his roommate is, peering at him worriedly from his doorframe. “Oh, I’m fine. Why? What’s up?”

“You aren’t fine,” Mark states and shakes his head. “And don’t you try to lie to me, Lee Jeno, I’ve known you since we were in diapers. I didn’t want to press, or anything, because you weren’t telling me about it, but enough is enough. What happened?”

Jeno sighs, locking his phone and leaning back in his desk chair. “I maybe fought with Jaemin.”

“Maybe?” Mark comes into his room and Jeno is suddenly aware of the mess.

“Sorry-”

Mark waves a hand and pushes a pile of clothes over to sit on his bed. “It’s fine, I’ve seen worse. What do you mean maybe?”

“I mean I don’t know. We kind of… I don’t know. Something happened and we haven’t really talked since.”

“That’s really evasive and a non-answer. When are you gonna stop lying to me?”

“Fuck you,” Jeno says tiredly, without any anger. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Mark frowns, tapping his fingers against Jeno’s mattress. “No shit. You’ve been not wanting to talk about it for like three days. You don’t have to tell me, but I’m asking if you will. It’s obvious something’s wrong, Jeno. I wasn’t gonna ask because I was waiting for you to just talk to me but you haven’t and I’m worried.” 

Jeno sighs. “I still need some time to think about it, Mark.”

Mark is quiet for a moment before shaking his head. “No, you don’t. You know what happened and you just don’t want to tell me. Fine.”

“Mark-”

“It’s whatever, Jeno,” Mark interrupts, clearly disappointed. “Just remember you and Jaemin are both my best friends and I’m really worried. But it’s whatever. Don’t talk if you don’t want to.” And then he leaves without giving Jeno a chance to protest. 

Jeno goes to class, goes to work, studies, sleeps, and repeats. He ignores his phone when he gets texts from Jisung asking him when he’s going to go visit him and Chenle, he responds to Mark’s grocery store requests, and they make small talk over takeout.

It’s only three days until it all breaks apart again. 

Jeno’s in his room, exhausted, blankly working on an essay, ignoring the sting of a slight burn on the pad of his thumb. He doesn’t want to think about Jaemin because the thick, viscous thought that Jaemin deserves better has yet to drain away. So he ignores the familiar burns on his fingers that get worse with distance, and tries not to think about if Jaemin is okay when he accidentally slams his knee into a table. The essay is supposed to be eight pages and he’s finished two when there’s a commotion in the living room. He hears Mark, and then someone else loudly talking, and then the other person is shouting Mark’s name angrily, and the front door shuts. Curiosity gets the better of him and Jeno opens his door, peeking out into the hallway and immediately regretting it.

Because there, knocking on the door and yelling at Mark to open it, is Jaemin. Jeno is frozen, staring. 

It's not as if he could ever forget that Jaemin is beautiful, but there's always something about him that strikes Jeno again and again. He looks like he rushed over, hair messy and he's wearing a hoodie he usually only wears when he's lounging at home. 

"Mark," he shouts again, "open the door! Why'd you call me over here in a panic if all you were going to do is lock me in? Not even out? I was so fucking worried-"

Jeno can't hold himself back anymore and steps out. "Jaemin?" Jaemin spins, and his eyes are red. "What happened?"

"Jeno?" Jaemin says, staring. His arm twitches, and it looks like he wants to reach out to him. “What- are you okay? Are you all right?”

“What?”

“Are you okay?” Jaemin gives into whatever urge was pulling him in and crosses the room to Jeno, taking his face between his hands. “Mark said I had to come over, that something was wrong. I got here as fast as I could.” His eyes search Jeno’s face and Jeno aches, because he hasn’t seen his soulmate in days and he looks tired, and worried, and is staring at Jeno like he’s something precious. 

“Noth-” Jeno doesn’t even get half the word out before he’s crying, hiccuping on a breath and vision blurring. “Nothing’s-” He sobs, shaking his head and feeling Jaemin’s fingers tighten on his cheeks. Jaemin’s eyes go wide and he leans closer. Jeno fights not to sink into the comfort of his arms.

“Jeno? Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Jaemin whispers, frantic and confused. “Talk to me, Nono, what’s happening?”

And Jeno can’t seem to make his vocal cords work, can’t assure Jaemin that he’s fine, because it all occurs to him that he’s not fine, that he misses Jaemin so fucking much, that there’s an empty, hollow space in his chest that’s torn at the edges. He  _ wants  _ so badly to embrace him, but there’s something holding him back, an ugly voice reminding him on repeat why he shouldn’t. He tries to push Jaemin away, to step back into the unfamiliar distance, but either he’s too weak or Jaemin is too strong because his hands just land on Jaemin’s shoulders and stay there, loosely grasping the fabric of his hoodie. He cries, and cries, and Jaemin stops asking what’s wrong and just watches Jeno for a moment before tugging him across the chasm between them and burying his face in Jeno’s neck, arms wrapping around him. And it feels so right that it hurts, each point of contact burning. 

He shakes apart in Jaemin’s hold and his soulmate wordlessly puts him back together piece by piece. It’s only been days but it feels like there are years and fathoms of distance, and Jeno’s hands drop to his sides, leaning into Jaemin, steady and strong in front of him. His knees buckle and he wants to tell Jaemin to let him fall, because he’s done nothing but spend the last few days questioning Jaemin, questioning himself and questioning what they are. But Jaemin doesn’t, he would never; he catches Jeno and sinks to the ground with him, arranging their limbs and drawing him closer.

“Oh, Jeno,” Jaemin murmurs, tucking his head in. “Oh, Jeno, why didn’t you call me earlier?”

Jeno shakes his head and tries not to focus on the way he’s soaking through the fabric of Jaemin’s clothes, tries to ignore the wet patch he can feel growing on his own shirt where Jaemin has his face pressed. He’s sorry, he’s so sorry, and it isn’t until he hears Jaemin shush him gently that he realizes he’s been speaking. 

“It’s okay, Jeno, it’s okay. Let’s go to your room, yeah? The floor isn’t very comfortable.” 

Jeno’s no help getting them there and it feels cruelly fitting that Jaemin is the one supporting him down the hall and to his bed, and the awful, terrible thoughts claw at him noisily.

“Let’s rest,” Jaemin says, adjusting Jeno on the mattress, “and then we’ll talk. Just… take a moment. Breathe.”

And he must be more tired than he thought because it doesn’t even take a minute for Jeno to fall asleep, selfishly reaching for his soulmate and hoping he’ll still be there.

He wakes up to an empty bed and the quiet sound of crying. His room is dark, the only sources of light being the weak moonbeams as well as the faint, blue glow from a cell phone. Jeno sits up, and can just barely make out a silhouette sitting on his floor beside the bed, curled over and sobbing. 

Jaemin looks up when he moves, and Jeno's phone slips through his fingers to the ground.

"Jeno," Jaemin whispers, standing unsteadily and swaying, staring at Jeno. Jeno shakes his head, trying to clear the fog from his mind.

“Nana?”

“Oh, Jeno.” Jaemin’s face crumples and his hands come up to cover his eyes. He cries, hiccuping and gasping for breath, and Jeno catches a glimpse of an open text on the screen on his phone on the floor. “Jeno, how could you think that? That, that you- you aren’t  _ enough  _ for me, that I- I’m se-settling for you, why would you think that about yourself?” 

“What?” Things go into focus immediately and Jeno feels like he’s going to be sick, remembering the text he started but never sent. “Nana-”

“I can’t- I can’t believe,” Jaemin heaves, and the sound of teardrops hitting the wood floor is thunderous, “you’d even- even think, even consider b- break- breaking us apart, Jeno, why? How could you?”

“Jaemin,” Jeno says, uncomfortable, and can’t even bear to look at him. “I…”

“You what, Jeno? You what?” Jaemin shouts, and maybe he startles himself because he slumps back to the floor, dropping his head into his hands. “You thought- you thought you could just, just, decide that you weren’t… didn’t  _ love  _ me enough, fuck, Jeno.” He’s practically wailing, anguished and heartrending. “You’re- you make me happy, Jeno, fuck, I’ve never been happier. You idiot, I love you so much, you fucking- I can’t believe you would think this,” he cries, shaking his head and Jeno feels stunned. “I needed some time, just- just a few days, because- the, the, threesome thing was hard on me too, okay? Someone else touching… like that, and you- you didn’t say anything so I tried to be okay, but then you- you asked me if I was  _ happy  _ like you were, were a disappointment or something.  _ I  _ felt like the fuck-up, Jeno, I thought it was something I’d done, like, like I didn’t tell you I loved you enough, or something.” Jeno’s out of his bed before he knows it, sliding onto the ground and hovering for just a moment before Jaemin yells, “Just- just hold me, you asshole, I miss you so fucking much-”

So Jeno does, pulls Jaemin into his arms, and rocks them back and forth while Jaemin cries, and ignores the sticky feeling of tears rolling down his jaw. He presses wet kisses to Jaemin’s skin, anywhere he can reach, and tugs him closer and closer until he can’t tell where one of them stops and the other begins. Jaemin tilts his head up and shoves all of Jeno’s desperate apologizes back into his mouth with a kiss, hands coming up to curl around Jeno’s face, fingernails digging painfully into his skin. It’s grounding. 

They don’t do much more talking, or much more of anything. Instead, Jeno brings Jaemin back up onto the bed and looks at him, just staring at each other in the dark. Jaemin traces his fingers along Jeno’s jaw, and Jeno curls a hand around his neck. It’s quiet, and Jeno is still sniffly from crying, but the moonlight casts shadows across the slope of Jaemin’s cheeks and he doesn’t ever, ever want to look away. 

“I love you,” he whispers, and Jaemin blinks at him. “I love you so, so much, Na Jaemin.”

“I love you too, Lee Jeno,” Jaemin answers with a hint of a smile. “Please, please don’t ever forget that. Even if we weren’t soulmates, I would have fallen in love with you a hundred times over. I want you to talk to me when you’re feeling like this, instead of just pushing it away until it eats you up. We’re in this together, Jeno, always.”

Jeno nods, and curls up in Jaemin’s arms, tangling their legs together. “Always.”

  
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡♡♡♡♡♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it realistic? not really.  
> is it ~dramatic~? abso-fucking-lutely.  
> next chapter: renjun!! and more of my gross boys being grossly in love because,,, well.  
> @ that latest nct diary a la 20/03/26... domestic jaemin... my life...  
> follow me on twt! @naeuioneonenine !!  
> beta'd by the amazing @moonfleur_, and possible only with eternal support from my best friend and soulmate katy <3 
> 
> the next chapter should be coming soon! how soon? not sure. i'm still on a break from work cause of this dang virus so hopefully ill get my ass up and do it!!!
> 
> thank you so much for reading! kudos and comments make me *heart eyes*


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter will make much more sense if you've read You're My 119 first
> 
> enjoy!  
> only warnings are I guess that good good sexual content we all came here for

“You must be Renjun,” Jaemin says, and the boy sitting in the hospital room turns to stare at them, shifting to let Mark blur past him. The room goes out of focus until it’s just Jeno, Jaemin, and this new face with a new name.  _ Renjun.  _ Jeno rolls the name around on his tongue, and it feels oddly right in his mouth. Jaemin introduces them both and then Mark, and Renjun nods, watching Mark take Donghyuck’s hands carefully. Satisfied by something he sees, Renjun turns, lightly brushing past them into the hallway. Jeno looks at Jaemin, who shrugs, and they follow him out. 

Renjun drops onto the bench across the hall from the hospital room, and sighs, tipping his head back. “Fuck,” he mutters quietly, rubbing at his face with his hands. Jeno deeply relates.

“What happened?” Jaemin says, ever protective of his friends, which now includes Donghyuck. “What happened to him?” 

“It’s a long story.”

“I have a lot of time,” Jaemin retorts frostily. “I just had to sit with my best friend through the most traumatic experience I could ever imagine and listen to him tell me that he couldn’t feel anything anymore because his soulmate was dead.”

Renjun blinks up at him, dark hair falling over his forehead and Jeno knows what it feels like to be on the other side of Jaemin’s stare. “What?”

“Mark told us he couldn’t feel anything, that nothing hurt,” Jeno interrupts before Jaemin gets frustrated. “And then you called us.”

“But Donghyuck didn’t die,” Renjun says, frowning. “Why would that-”

“Are any of you relatives of Lee Donghyuck?” A nurse says, approaching from down the hall with a clipboard in hand.

“I’m not related to him but I came here with him. What happened?”

“Ah,” the nurse says, and she looks apologetic. “I’m only supposed to relay information to relatives.”

“Wh-”

“I am,” Jeno speaks up, and then immediately regrets it because everyone turns to look at him. “Uh, I’m his b.. step-brother.”

The nurse frowns. “Your name?”

“Lee Jeno.”

“Oh,” she says, staring at her papers, and then whatever hesitation she was holding smooths away. “Well, we don’t have any recorded family on his file. Do you have an I.D.?”

“Of course,” Jeno mumbles, fishing his wallet out and ignoring Renjun’s piercing gaze. Jaemin has a proud smirk pulling at his lips and he ducks to hide his head when the nurse surveys them. The nurse looks between his I.D., Donghyuck's papers, and Jeno, and then nods, still clearly unsure but it’s three in the morning and there are three very exhausted boys standing in front of her with another one attending to his soulmate in a hospital bed. She must decide that whatever battle she is debating isn’t worth it because she hands Jeno’s card back without any other questions.

“All right,” she continues, flipping to the next page on her clipboard. “Donghyuck should recover fairly smoothly, although I recommend that physical exertion is either strictly limited or completely halted. Luckily, the piece of metal that he fell on-” Jeno and Jaemin glance at Renjun, who doesn’t react, “-missed permanently damaging his lungs and just pierced the outer layers. We did have to deliver a relatively low dose of adrenaline during the surgery because his heart wasn’t working strongly enough to get the blood infusion to his muscles. He did experience asystole very briefly and flatlined, however, the adrenaline was effective and he should be fine. The stitches should fall out within a week or so, and we’ll send you home with some medication as well as guidelines for aftercare. We should be able to discharge him tomorrow. The doctor will give you more instructions then.” She pauses, glancing between them all and then faintly smiles. “Visiting hours don’t technically start for another three hours, but the cafe downstairs is open and you can go sit there if you’d like.”

“What about-”

“I’m not leaving-”

“Okay,” Jeno says, overpowering Renjun and Jaemin’s protests. “Can Mark- can his soulmate stay with him?”

The nurse nods. “Yes, soulmates are permitted to stay. We encourage it, in fact, as being around your soulmate can help with the healing process.”

“Great. Thank you so much for your help.” Jeno grabs Jaemin’s hand and gestures at Renjun, hoping he follows when Jeno pulls Jaemin towards the elevator. He hears the steps of the nurse down the hall and then Renjun’s voice next to him.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, and Jeno glances at him. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Jeno shrugs, uncomfortable and aware of Jaemin’s gaze on him. “I figured it was easier than the alternative. More convenient.” Jaemin laces their fingers together and leans against him with a hum.

“So he did die,” he muses, looking at the elevator and watching the numbers count down. 

“What?”

Jaemin looks at Jeno and then at Renjun. “Well, if he flatlined, that means his heart stopped. So he technically died. Even if it was just for a second. Maybe that’s why Mark couldn’t feel him.”

“Oh,” Renjun exhales, nodding. “Yeah. There was a bunch of urgent yelling for a minute while he was in surgery. I couldn’t hear much of it because I was calling you guys.”

“Thank you,” Jeno says, and Renjun looks at him. “For calling. I was about to lose my mind, honestly.” Jaemin nods, lightly brushing against Jeno’s hand where he had hit the wall out of frustration, unable to help Mark. Renjun watches the action quietly and then shrugs.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry we couldn’t reach you earlier. Donghyuck had his phone off.”

Jeno bites his tongue to keep from asking the next obvious question as the elevator doors open. The elevator music plays in the background and the doors reopen on the first floor. There’s only a few people in the lobby, and Jeno pays them no mind, following Renjun towards the tiny cafe area in the corner. 

“What do you want to drink?” Renjun asks, sliding his wallet out of his pocket and shaking his head before either of them can protest. “It’s fine. What do you want?”

“I’ll just take a vanilla latte,” Jeno says after it becomes clear that Renjun isn’t budging on paying for them. 

“Iced Americano with eight shots of espresso,” Jaemin adds, and Jeno frowns at him. “Fine, six shots.” He pouts, and it’s a testament to how familiar Jeno is with Jaemin that he forgets that his soulmate sounds like a lunatic when ordering coffee.

“Six???” Renjun gapes at him, and Jaemin’s smile grows, nodding his head.

“Yep.”

“Uh, okay, I guess.” Renjun shakes his head with the barest hint of a grin and heads over to the barista, weaving around a small table. 

“Nana,” Jeno says, staring at Renjun’s back as he waits at the counter of the little cafe. Jaemin hums, looking up at him. “I think… I think we should ask Renjun,” he settles on, not knowing how to phrase how he’s feeling about the other boy. 

“Ask him what?” Jaemin tilts his head to the side, blinking at Jeno, who flushes.

“The… the question. You know. The question.”

Jaemin catches on quickly, he always does, but Jeno should have expected the teasing, “What question?”

“The- our question, you know!”

“I don’t know,” Jaemin says easily, grinning, and Jeno groans. 

“The three-”

“I think we should ask too,” Jaemin interrupts, just as Renjun returns with their drinks. 

“Ask what?”

Jeno’s too busy engaging Jaemin in a staring session, searching his eyes. Jaemin returns the stare, gaze flicking to Renjun and then back to Jeno, expression open and earnest. Jeno answers, eyebrows furrowed, and Jaemin just smiles.

"Do you two do this often?"

"Do what," Jaemin says, still looking at Jeno, eyes full of something soothing and reassuring. 

"This," Renjun repeats, amused, and he gestures between the two of them. "You're having a whole conversation and you're just staring at each other."

Jeno nods, finally breaking eye contact to glance at Renjun. “Yeah, sorry. Bad habit.”

“It’s okay,” he says, curling his fingers around his mug of tea. “If I may ask, are you two…?”

“Soulmates? Yeah,” Jaemin answers, voice full of affection. “We met a few years ago when Jeno ran into a goal post after seeing me.” He preens, and Jeno laughs.

“How could I not? You’re so pretty, and the sun was out. You were waiting for one of my teammates, I think, and I saw you sitting in the bleachers. I slammed my head into the goal post and that’s how we knew.”

“Needless to say, I didn’t go home with your teammate,” Jaemin concludes, leaning against Jeno’s side and taking a satisfied sip of his coffee. “The rest is history.” 

Renjun smiles, running his index finger along the rim of his drink. “That’s nice. I’m glad Donghyuck was able to find Mark. It hasn’t been easy.”

“I can relate,” Jaemin says dryly, “since we’ve been patching up Mark’s injuries for years.” Renjun chuckles.

“Ah, yeah. You have the right to hold that over Donghyuck’s head for a while. But he means well, he honestly does. He just doesn’t know how to do anything right.” He looks into his cup and his eyes are fond. “He’ll be good to Mark, he will be. When Donghyuck loves someone he does it with his whole heart.”

“Good,” Jeno says, and lets Jaemin take a sip of his latte without complaining, rolling his eyes at the face he makes because it’s not sweet enough. “Mark’s never dated before, but he’s been in love with his soulmate for as long as we’ve known he had one. He really wants to get this right. He’s been so happy lately.” Renjun hums in agreement, and there’s a moment of quiet before Jeno has to ask, “What happened to Donghyuck?”

Renjun sighs, running a hand through his dark hair. “It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got a lot of time,” Jaemin says, same as he had before but a touch warmer. “I think that Mark will want Donghyuck to tell him, but he’s currently crying over the almost-deathbed of his soulmate, and frankly all of us are tired of being in the dark about it. So please, just tell us. If not everything then just what happened tonight.”

Renjun looks between Jaemin and Jeno, and sighs again, taking a sip of his tea. 

“Okay. I’ll tell you what I can, but you’ll have to wait for Hyuck to tell you the rest.”

Dawn breaks, and Jeno nudges Jaemin to wake him up, giggling at the trail of drool from the side of his mouth. Jaemin’s ability to doze off despite his blood full of caffeine will never cease to amaze him.

“Mmphf,” Jaemin mumbles when Jeno wipes it away with a napkin. “Mmhmpf?”

“Donghyuck’s awake,” Jeno answers, cradling Jaemin’s face in his hands. “Renjun is waiting for us, let’s go.”

“I really like Renjun,” Jaemin murmurs into the palm of Jeno’s hand, and his warm breath tickles. “Let’s ask him.”

“I like him too,” Jeno says, glancing over to where he’s standing by the elevator, pointedly not looking at them, maybe to give them a moment. “Nana, do you think he’s…?”

“Dunno,” Jaemin replies, yawning and standing up. “But I want to find out.” He takes Jeno’s hand, kisses him on the cheek, and pulls him over to their maybe-future.

Donghyuck is okay, if a little worse for wear, but he’s okay, and Mark glows in the early morning light, refusing to let go of him even with his cheeks bright red to match his lips. Something in Jeno’s chest lightens, watching his best friend fumble through embarrassment, too happy to be ashamed. 

He watches Renjun, watches him smile at Donghyuck and Mark, and the thing in his chest settles like a cat in a patch of sunlight. Jaemin tightens his grasp on his hand, and is probably thinking the same.

Maybe he’s the one.

They discharge Donghyuck the next day, and Mark is inseparable from him so Jaemin and Jeno spend the hours with Renjun, never far from Donghyuck. He laughingly confesses to having messed around with Donghyuck in the past when Jaemin makes an inappropriate joke about it, and another question in Jeno’s mind is answered. Renjun answers and makes a lot of phone calls, assuring people that Donghyuck is fine. Jaemin calls Jisung and Chenle and assures them that they don’t need to come visit, that they’ll meet Donghyuck soon enough. Jeno answers when addressed but spends a lot of the time just watching Jaemin and Renjun, sorting them into compartments and then putting them back together, sifting through all the thoughts and feelings like a box of puzzle pieces and imagining what the whole picture will look like.

It’s beautiful, and when Renjun catches his eye, grinning at him while answering one of Jaemin’s nonsensical questions, the picture comes into focus.

They help Donghyuck pack up what little he has at the hospital and then hold Renjun back from knocking him unconscious to get him to sit in the wheelchair, and Jaemin laughs at the pleased if not flushed expression on Mark’s face when Donghyuck clings to him instead. 

“Renjun,” Jaemin says when Donghyuck splits off to go meet his other friends, and Jeno stops staring at the unfairly handsome man who’s hugging Donghyuck to look at Jaemin, who smiles at him, all teeth and unfettered joy. Renjun turns to them, about to say something when Donghyuck calls him over. “Coming! What’s up, Jaemin? Is there something-”  
“You’re really cute.” Jaemin winks and sways closer to Renjun, a flirty glint in his eye. “Would you be interested in joining my soulmate and I in a threesome?”

“A-a-a, a what?” Renjun sputters, face rapidly turning red. “A… threesome?”

“Yes,” Jeno answers, laughing. “You have our numbers. The offer is on the table. We’d like to get to know you more.”

“I- uh, I… I gotta… gotta go,” Renjun manages, and Jeno can practically feel the heat coming off his cheeks. “I- yeah. Okay. It was nice to meet you. Bye!”

Jeno waves him off before following Jaemin to his car. Jaemin is surprisingly quiet in the car ride home, and Jeno is about to ask him what’s wrong but as soon as they step into Jeno’s apartment Jaemin shoves him into the bedroom, stripping off his shirt and pushing Jeno onto the bed.

“Nana?”

“We found him,” Jaemin breathes, efficiently ridding Jeno of his clothes. “He’s the one, Jen, I know it.”

“Fuck,” Jeno groans when Jaemin grinds down against him. “Yeah, yeah we did. Our new soulmate-”

“Say his name,” Jaemin says lowly, sliding down Jeno’s chest. “Say his name, baby.”

“It’s Renjun,” Jeno answers, already half hard. “Renjun.”

“You want me to mark you up?” Jaemin asks, teeth scraping over Jeno’s hipbone, fingers already dipping lower, wandering, wrapping.

“No,” Jeno chokes on a gasp as Jaemin trails his lips across his waist. “I want to wait. Get back up here, Nana.”

Jaemin laughs, and then giggles as Jeno flips him over, beaming up at him. “Okay,” he whispers, pulling Jeno down into a kiss. “Ah, fuck, Jeno-”

“I wanna hear you say his name,” Jeno murmurs into his soulmate’s ear. “I wanna hear you call Renjun’s name when you come.”

And Jaemin does, breathless and writhing against Jeno’s sheets, spilling over Jeno’s fingers with a shout and clutching at his shoulders hard enough to leave bruises. 

“You have to go to work soon,” Jeno murmurs in the afterglow, stroking a pattern down Jaemin’s back, tracing the knobs of his spine. “We have to go pick up Mark.”

Jaemin hums, stretching in the circle of Jeno’s arms. “He’s with Donghyuck, right?”

“I think so. I’ll text him.”

“Do you think Renjun will be there?” 

“I hope so,” Jeno answers, watching Jaemin pull his clothes back on, shimmying into his own.

“Can we say hi?”

“Of course we can.” 

Mark texts them while they’re on their way, and Jaemin’s tapping out a response just as they arrive.

“I’ll come pick you up after your shift,” Jeno says, pushing open the door to the weird bar that Mark gave them the address to. “And since we both have class tomorrow you can just stay at mine.” He looks up to see a bunch of people watching them, Mark at the front tapping his foot with Donghyuck clinging to him. “Oh! Mark. Sorry we’re running behind. Jaemin needed my help…” He glances at Jaemin, who shrugs. “Uh, cleaning?”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Whatever. Let’s go.”

Movement at the back of the room catches Jaemin’s eye, and he pulls away from Jeno, pointing at where Renjun is pushing through a door. “You! Cute boy!” He shouts. “You never answered my question!”

Renjun turns an adorable shade of pink, averting his eyes. “What question? I don’t remember-”

“At the hospital!” Jaemin is practically vibrating with excitement, and Jeno watches him with amusement. “I asked if you’d want to have a threesome with me and Jeno.”

An angular, also unfairly handsome, Jeno notes, man in the back chokes on something, eyes going wide as he stares at Jaemin. Donghyuck starts laughing, loud and raucous, and Mark punches Jaemin in the arm, hard enough that Jeno feels it in his muscles.

“Jaemin you can’t just keep asking people that!” Mark says, frowning, and Jaemin winces.

And then Renjun yelps, hand going to clutch his own arm, mouth dropping open. His face is flushed. “Um-” he starts in the sudden silence that falls over the room. Donghyuck gasps and people start to talk over each other, voices climbing in the dim interior of the bar.

“I was right!” Jaemin announces, marching straight over to Renjun. “You’re the one! We finally found you.”

Jeno follows, smiling. “You’ve asked everyone,” he says, resting a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder. “That doesn’t really make you right this time. Just wrong all the others. Hi, Renjun. I think Jaemin forgot your name.”

Renjun looks like he wants to disappear, and Jaemin winks at Jeno, because there’s no way he forgot Renjun’s name. “I didn’t! I was waiting for my chance. Renjun, we have so much to talk about!” Jaemin grabs both of them and drags them behind him out the door into the clear sunlight. “Renjun,” he shouts excitedly as soon as they get outside, and Renjun startles. 

“Um-”

“Jaemin! Na Jaemin, explain yourself!” They hear Donghyuck yell, practically bolting through the door and Jaemin barely steps out of the way of his hands. “What are you talking about!”

“We found our third soulmate!” Jaemin replies, volume rising in his excitement and Jeno watches Donghyuck scoop a piece of wood off the ground, brandishing it like a baseball bat. Jaemin screams and takes off, running across the parking lot.

Jeno follows dutifully, more out of his own interest because whatever Donghyuck does to Jaemin will be reflected on him, but before he gets over to them wrestling, Renjun sprints past him to smack the back of Donghyuck’s head hard, pushing him off balance.

“Stop it,” he shouts, “you’re still injured!” Donghyuck mimics him in an equally pitched yell. Jaemin shoves at Donghyuck and ignores Mark’s pained grunt until he takes a step back and lunges at Renjun, flinging his arms around the other’s neck, and Jeno breaks into a run to catch them as Jaemin knocks them both over, tumbling towards the asphalt, laughing. 

“Careful,” Jeno says, grinning down at Renjun, who gasps, blinking up at him. Jaemin springs back up and drapes himself over Jeno’s shoulders, beaming down at their soulmate.

“We found you!”

“You have a WHAT?” Donghyuck yells, and Jeno flinches, even though Donghyuck throws a pillow at Renjun instead of him. “Why didn’t you tell me you have a soulmate!”

“It never came up!” Renjun responds, ducking, and scowls. “It wasn’t a big deal!”

“That is a big deal!” Donghyuck shoves away from where Mark is hugging him on the couch and reaches for Renjun, who deflects him with his wrist.

“It’s not! Plus, you had enough of your own mess going on with your soulmate! I didn’t need to bring mine into it.”

Jeno looks at Jaemin, who looks back, and asks him if they should stop whatever’s going on. Jaemin shrugs, confusion tinting his gaze. Jeno furrows his brow, and Jaemin smirks just a bit.

“You don’t need to interrupt it,” Mark says from the couch, and Jeno glances at him. “I uh, think they’ll be fine. Donghyuck just likes to start fights.”

“That’s nice for Donghyuck,” Jaemin says, watching them continue to shout at each other, slowly getting closer. “ But, uh, if I’m gonna wake up with bruises tomorrow I’d rather them not be because my new soulmate got beat up and instead because-” 

“Also, shouldn’t you be worried? If Donghyuck gets hurt it hurts you too,” Jeno interrupts, exasperatedly shaking his head at Jaemin and then going back to Mark. “Plus he, like, just got out of the hospital.”

“Yeah, but I’m used to that. I dunno how much Renjun could do, plus, I guess me being there really helped him heal. He’s okay.” Mark’s voice is full of pride, and Jeno rolls his eyes.

Jaemin frowns. “Renjun could definitely beat up Donghyuck. Look at him. He’s much more agile.”

“Donghyuck has the upper hand though,” Mark says, frowning back. “Plus Renjun looks like the wind could blow him over.”

“Not true?” Jeno narrows his eyes at Mark. “He’s much faster than Donghyuck. He’d definitely win.”

“Nu-uh! Donghyuck is stronger!”

“No, he’s not! Renjun could kick his ass any day-”

“Could not, he can’t even reach-”

“Take that back! I’m gonna-” Jaemin and Jeno both lunge at Mark, tackling him off the couch and Jeno gets him in a headlock.

“Apologize to Renjun! He could beat Donghyuck!”

“Could not,” Mark manages, garbled. “You should apologize-”

“Boys,” Donghyuck says, staring at them, amusement all over his face. It seems his argument with Renjun has been forgotten. “It’s a little early to be fighting in our honor.” Renjun has a similar smirk on, and laughs at the offended expression on Mark’s face. He helps Donghyuck untangle them, pulling Jaemin and Jeno over to his side.

“Plus, not that it matters, I can and have beaten Donghyuck many times.”

“Don’t start,” Donghyuck growls, warning, and Renjun laughs, which makes Jeno’s brain briefly stop working, because his laugh is light and loud, full of joy and music and Jeno’s heartbeat stutters.

“Gross,” Jaemin says, fondly patting Jeno’s cheek. “You’ve gone all heart eyes.”

“You can’t blame me,” Jeno mutters quietly, just for Jaemin’s ears. “Look at him.” Even arguing with Donghyuck, Renjun is a sight to see, with a sparkle in his eye despite the twist of his mouth, belaying his mirth. The soft orange glow from the lamps around Mark and Jeno’s apartment catches on his cheekbones, throwing shadows down his neck from his jaw, smooth and Jeno imagines cupping his hands around his face, framed with dark brown hair that curls over his forehead. 

Jeno wonders how his skin feels, if it’s as soft as it looks, and if his eyes would flutter shut, warm brown irises disappearing under dark lashes. Before he can stop himself his mind wanders to what his lips would feel like on his, the steep curve of his Cupid’s bow over a wide smile. 

He’s brought out of his reverie by Jaemin lightly elbowing him, laughing at the dazed expression Jeno must be wearing. 

“I know.” Jaemin looks over at Renjun as well, eyes following him as he finally breaks, giggling at Donghyuck’s weak attempts to wrestle with him. “I know how you feel. He’s really pretty.” He leans against Jeno and then yawns.

“It’s pretty late,” Jeno murmurs, glancing at the clock. They came straight to their apartment after work, barely able to wait the last few hours of Jaemin’s shift. “Do you want to go to bed?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin mumbles, fingers curling in the bottom of Jeno’s sweater. “But I don’t want to say goodbye.”

Jeno laughs, running his fingers through his soulmate’s hair. “I get it. But we’ll see him again soon. I’m sure of it.”

“Right,” Jaemin nods, nuzzling into Jeno’s shoulder. “Right. Will you ask him on an ice cream date?”

“Why me?” Jeno asks, bemused, watching Jaemin weakly shrug.

“‘M tired?”

“Fine,” Jeno says, because he’d do anything for Jaemin, and asking their third soulmate on a date is something he’s just as interested in. “Renjun,” he calls, and Renjun lets go of Donghyuck to look over at them, something in his gaze changing with what he sees, Jaemin steadily dozing off against Jeno. “Will you go on a date with us?”

Donghyuck dramatically groans, quickly stopping with a glance from Mark, who rolls his eyes. Renjun blushes a pretty shade of pink. “Yeah, I’d like that. I’d really like that.”

“Great,” Jeno replies, beaming at him and then nudging Jaemin until he lets Jeno stand him up. “I’m going to take our very sleepy soulmate to bed, so we’ll talk to you later.” Renjun’s face goes even redder with the mention of soulmates, and he nods. “Bye, Donghyuck, please keep it down.”

“What? I-”

Mark shushes him, laughing. “I have to go to bed soon too, Hyuck. It’s been a long day.”

“Fine,” Donghyuck huffs, pouting. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“We have class tomorrow, so yes,” Mark says, chuckling, and Donghyuck groans. Jeno doesn’t hear the rest of it because he’s walking Jaemin to their room, pausing where Renjun stands by the hallway.

“Bye, Renjun,” he says softly, and delights in the shy smile he gets.

“Bye-bye,” Jaemin adds, sleepily reaching out and patting Renjun’s cheek. “See you soon, cute boy.”

Renjun blinks, and then reaches out to brush Jaemin’s hair off his forehead. “See you soon, Jaemin. Bye, Jeno.” There’s a moment of static, and if Jeno was any bolder he’d kiss Renjun goodbye but he’s not, so he nods instead and then heads to his bedroom, detouring to the bathroom to make Jaemin brush his teeth and wash his face despite his protests. 

He pushes the extra pillows and the Ryan plushie Jaemin insisted he get to the side, climbing under the sheets and waiting for Jaemin to change and join him, curling up into his side immediately.

“I like him,” Jaemin whispers, and Jeno nods.

“I like him too, Nana. Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jeno murmurs, and then drifts off to the sound of Jaemin’s even breathing next to him.

“What kind of ice cream do you think he’ll choose,” Jeno muses, glancing at Jaemin, who tilts his head.

“I don’t know. Does it matter?”

Jeno furrows his brow. “I don’t care. But what if he picks strawberry?”

Jaemin frowns, and looks over at Renjun, checking the menu. “I guess I have to accept him anyway.”

Jeno’s laugh gathers Renjun’s attention, and he turns to them. “Were you guys having another one of your silent conversations?”

“Oh!” Jaemin blinks sheepishly. “I thought that one was out loud. I guess we were.”

“Are you gonna teach me how to understand you when you do?” The tiniest pout forms on Renjun’s bottom lip, and Jaemin coos, pushing away from Jeno to nuzzle into their soulmate’s shoulder.

“Of course! I’ll be your teacher!” He starts excitedly explaining, or trying to explain their conversations, and Jeno shakes his head, laughing.

“I don’t think we can just teach that in the middle of an ice cream store, Nana. We’ll work on it.” Jaemin nods, and then steps up to the counter to order his ridiculous vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and sugar.

“Nana?” Renjun asks softly, and Jeno blinks.

“Oh. That’s his nickname. Because of his surname.”

“Nana,” Renjun repeats to himself. “Cute.”

“Say it to him sometime. He doesn’t just let anyone call him that,” Jeno says, winking, and Renjun grins.

“If he’s Nana, can I call you Nono? Because of your name?”

“Uh,” Jeno stammers, and Renjun chuckles. “Uh, I… I guess? If you want. You can call me whatever you want. I guess. Sure.”

“Are you guys going to get ice cream or am I going to have to eat all this by myself?” Jaemin complains, reaching for Jeno’s hand. Renjun steps in and takes it instead, lacing their fingers together and Jaemin’s cheeks go pink.

“Coming, Nana,” Renjun responds, and Jaemin trips over his own feet, almost taking Renjun down with him. 

His face is bright red when he springs back up, and then he’s shouting, “You have to warn me before you do something heart-fluttering like that!” He continues to protest loudly, but the blush gives his elation away, tightening his grasp on Renjun’s hand and pulling him towards the ice cream counter. 

Jeno watches them, watches Jaemin eye Renjun as he chooses, barely restraining himself from pushing Renjun away from the fruit flavors, and how he visibly relaxes when Renjun chooses mint chocolate. They turn to look at Jeno expectantly, and he orders his usual chocolate with chocolate shavings, letting Jaemin bicker with Renjun about who’s paying while handing the cashier his own card. Jaemin gasps and whines dramatically when he realizes Jeno already paid, and Renjun furrows his brow, fingers spinning his own card between his fingers. Jeno shrugs.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me pay,” he says when they collect their ice cream and sit down. Jaemin shoves a too-large bite in his mouth and Jeno feels the brief pang of the physical pain of brain freeze. 

“I asked you on the date,” Jeno offers, taking Jaemin’s spoon and holding it away for a moment to keep him from taking another bite. Jaemin pouts, giving Jeno his best puppy dog eyes and loudest aegyo to get him to give it back. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

There’s a moment of quiet while they eat until Renjun asks for a bite of Jaemin’s and Jaemin, being himself and always overly dramatic, makes a show of choosing a perfect bite and then feeding it to Renjun with a flourish. Jeno makes a comment about Jaemin’s notorious sweet tooth which leads to a passionate debate about how much sugar is too much sugar as Jaemin insists there is no such thing and Renjun and Jeno make up more and more elaborate reasons why less sugar is better.

Jeno launches into embarrassing stories about Jaemin that he can’t stop him from telling since he’s across the table. There’s a brief moment where Jeno wonders if Renjun is jealous, if Renjun feels uncomfortable in the face of Jeno and Jaemin’s history together, but there’s no awkwardness, no lulls where the air hangs between them with unspoken questions about what this is, what they’ll become.

Instead, it’s just Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun in an ice cream parlor in the spring sunshine, sticky with sugar and thrumming with life to match the bursts of flowers and vibrancy just outside the window.

Too soon the spoon scrapes against the bottom of Jeno’s empty cup, and Renjun sweeps the pile of napkins off the table to throw them away. Jaemin snatches the trash from Jeno’s hands and plants a noisy kiss on his cheek, tossing a wink over his shoulder. Jeno watches them push each other lightly near the counter, Jaemin saying something that makes Renjun frown and then laugh, beautiful in the light and Jaemin must agree, because he glances back at Jeno, a light flush on his cheeks, and grins.

The atmosphere is a bit strange then, in the few quiet moments of standing outside the ice cream shop. Jeno shifts on his feet and tries not to focus too much on Renjun’s mouth.

“Will you come home with us?” He says it without thinking because if he lets himself think over it any longer he won’t say it at all.

Renjun blinks, and Jaemin stares at Jeno, curiosity and pride like fire in his eyes. Jeno swallows the urge to take it back the longer the silence stretches on.

“Renjun?” Jaemin finally prompts, taking Jeno’s hand and squeezing it in reassurance. “What do you say?”

“I…” His question of  _ why  _ sits unasked, because they all know what would happen if Renjun joins them. Jeno shifts his weight between his feet, and Jaemin lets go of his hand to rest his fingers on Jeno’s waist, gentle. “Yeah,” Renjun answers, just as Jeno was about to give up. “Yeah, I’d… I’d like that.”

“Okay! Let’s go,” Jaemin announces, leaving no room for doubts. He hesitates just a moment before grabbing Renjun’s hand, quickly pulling him along and ignoring his surprised exclamation. “I’ll lead the way. Jeno needs to make his brain work again!”  
“Nana,” Jeno whines, face warm and feet moving on autopilot to follow because he’s never far behind. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“You’re cute,” Renjun muses, smiling back at him, and Jeno trips.

They manage to get to Jaemin’s apartment, between laughter and more stumbling. It’s mid-afternoon and there’s sunlight streaming in through the big window, lighting up the room. Jaemin doesn’t bother turning on any lights, kicking his shoes off and draping his coat over the back of the couch, the only sign belaying his impatience because Jaemin is neat, always puts his things back, even if he does put things in weird places. He insists that leaving his wallet in the bathroom is a good way to remember it but Jeno always ends up reminding him and Jeno needs to focus because Renjun is taking his coat off, smoothly sliding the sleeves off and it’s like a movie, the way he swirls it off and lays it over Jaemin’s. He slips off his shoes and pads into the main room, looking around and then sitting when Jaemin gestures for him to. Jeno swallows.

It’s been a long time since Jeno has kissed anyone that’s not Jaemin, excluding the one time he kissed Mark on a dare. It’s a little daunting, but Jeno wants to kiss Renjun on the couch in Jaemin’s living room. He really wants to kiss him.

“One moment,” Jaemin sings, taking Jeno’s hand and tugging him towards the kitchen. Renjun watches them go with a curious look.

“Nana?”

“Are you okay?” Jaemin cups Jeno’s face in his hands, staring intently at him, searching his eyes. “I know he’s our soulmate and everything and we can’t really escape that, but I just want to check in with you.”

Jeno takes a deep breath, affection bubbling in his chest. “I’m okay. No, I’m great. I want this.”

“Okay, but what are you afraid of? I can tell there’s something,” Jaemin says quietly, thumb stroking over Jeno’s cheekbone. “Don’t hide from me, Jen.”

“I love you,” Jeno replies softly. “I am scared. I’m scared of if he likes one of us more, or if you like him more than me. I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid to be worried about that.” Jaemin leans closer, smiling and then kisses Jeno just for a moment. “It’s a little silly, because nothing and no one will ever change how much I love you, but it’s not stupid. It’s going to take some getting used to, for sure, because as much as we’re made for each other we’re made for Renjun, too. So I know it’s scary but we’re in this together.”

“Always.”  
“Always,” Jaemin agrees, laughing. “Let’s just try this out, okay? Keep an open mind. Let him in. I want you to kiss him.”

“What???” Jeno draws back, surprised. “Why- why would you want me to kiss him?”

Jaemin stops him before he can spiral further into his thoughts. “Because I know you want to. And I want to also, but I want you to go first.” Jeno suddenly remembers the way his world spun when someone else put their hands on Jaemin, and maybe he agrees.

“Are you sure?” He stares, dumbfounded, as Jaemin laughs, carefree and gorgeous and full of life, teeth flashing in the light. 

“I’m sure. If things work out you won’t be kissing him for long because it’ll be my turn,” he teases, and Jeno flushes. “Now let’s go, we’ve kept him waiting for long enough.” He grabs Jeno’s hand and pauses just before he turns to leave. 

“Nana-” Jeno is cut off by Jaemin shoving him against the wall and claiming his mouth, sliding his hands up Jeno’s neck and burying his fingers in his hair. Jeno gasps and his soulmate uses the opportunity to press even closer, tongue running over Jeno’s lips and delving in, brushing against Jeno’s. 

There are lots of different types of Jaemin kisses, and this one is hot and heavy, Jaemin’s leg slipping between Jeno’s and his head tilting to the side to let him shove his tongue into Jeno’s mouth, swallowing his gasps and quiet groans. Jeno tastes the vanilla ice cream Jaemin was eating earlier, and his knees go weak.

“Ah- Jaemin, oh-” Jaemin splits from his mouth and trails wet lips down Jeno’s neck, scraping his teeth along his jugular. He presses his knee up and Jeno jolts. “Not-”

“I wondered what was taking you so long,” a voice comes from the entryway to the kitchen and Jeno manages to twist his head to see Renjun standing there, and there’s a blush on his cheeks and a smirk pulling at his lips. “I can see now that you’re busy.”

“Renjun,” Jeno says, and bites back a groan when Jaemin digs his teeth into the skin of his shoulder, sucking a deep mark into an unmarked canvas. “S-Sorry-”

“Not sorry,” Jaemin interrupts, muffled, and picks another spot of Jeno’s neck to ravage. “Come join us, Renjunnie. Jeno wants to kiss you.”

“He should have asked,” Renjun murmurs, approaching them. He steps into Jeno’s space, sliding a hand along Jaemin’s waist. “I would have said yes.” Jeno’s head spins. He blinks at Renjun and catches sight of the beginnings of a hickey on his skin. 

“I-”

“He’s shy about things like this,” Jaemin speaks over Jeno. “Worries too much.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about,” Renjun says, leaning in and Jeno feels helpless, craning his neck to get closer, pulled as if by a magnet. “Just say the word.”

It’s increasingly harder to focus with Jaemin still pinning him against a wall, thigh firm between his legs and mouth hot on his skin, and Renjun, hovering just centimeters away, teeth dug into his plush lower lip.

“Please,” he breathes. “Kiss me,  _ please. _ ” 

And god, Renjun does. His lips are so soft, and the quiet sound he makes when Jeno arches closer is delightful. The first kiss is sweet, and so is the second, just quick presses of their mouths together. And then Jaemin bites down on Jeno’s shoulder again and he gasps, a chance Renjun doesn’t waste, licking into his mouth with a heated groan. He tastes like mint chocolate, sugar spreading over Jeno’s palette. Jeno is used to Jaemin’s kisses, to the enthusiastic and messy makeouts pressed into his bed, used to the way Jaemin kisses how he talks, dynamic, noisy, excited; Renjun is different, so different. His kisses are filled with smooth transitions, leading Jeno in a dance. He is persistent, composed, and purposeful. Jeno’s heart races and his stomach flips and Renjun smiles against his lips when Jeno makes a quiet sound in the back of his throat. 

Jaemin hums against his skin and trails a path back up his neck, pressing a kiss to Jeno’s cheek before lightly tugging Renjun away from Jeno, laughing at Jeno’s involuntary whine. “Don’t worry, baby,” he croons, winking at Jeno before turning his gaze to Renjun’s mouth. “I just want a turn for myself.” And then he’s claiming Renjun’s mouth, heated and hungry and intense from the start. Renjun’s chuckle is cut off, melting into a groan when Jaemin does that thing he does with his tongue that Jeno loves, and Jeno waits for the jealousy, waits for the insecurities to hit, but they don’t. Instead, he just feels a swelling emotion in his chest that feels something like love, something like desire. He watches his soulmate make out with his other soulmate, and it feels right.

Renjun lets out a sound, a sigh that builds into a moan, and Jeno feels his knees go a little weak, and both of them turn to him when he realizes Jaemin’s leg is still between his and groans, loud, the pressure making arousal build in his stomach. 

“Bedroom?” Jaemin asks quietly, looking at Renjun for confirmation.

“Yeah,” Renjun breathes, lips red and spit-slick, bruises blooming over his collarbones. “Yeah.”

There’s a brief stalemate before Renjun disentangles himself and turns to go without looking back. Jaemin grins and takes off after him, leaving Jeno to follow. He takes a deep breath, remembering the last time he was following Jaemin and someone else into his room. He holds the breath for a moment and then exhales, because it’s Renjun, and Jaemin, and they’re waiting for him. The feeling of nervousness ebbs and then fades, replaced by desire and desperation and he practically runs into his room, barely avoiding tripping over his own feet at the sight that awaits him.

Renjun has Jaemin pinned to the mattress, holding him down by his wrists as he laughs, tipping his head up to let Renjun cover him with bruising kisses, and somehow both of them already have their shirts off. Jaemin wrenches a hand from Renjun’s grasp and blindly reaches out for Jeno, who comes as if pulled by some force, tossing his shirt on the floor on his way over to the bed, climbing up beside them

Renjun breaks from sucking on Jaemin’s tongue to glance over at Jeno, and then he’s staring, and Jeno blushes.

“Damn,” Renjun whispers, eyes wide, and Jaemin snickers. 

“Yeah. Damn is right. Come here, babe, there’s plenty of room. Show us what you can do with all those muscles,” he says, low and sultry and Jeno sighs fondly. 

“Speak for yourself,” he answers, playing with Jaemin’s fingers. “Look how pretty you are, Nana. And you,” he continues, looking at Renjun, still perched on Jaemin’s hips, “gorgeous. Thought so ever since we saw you for the first time. Stunning.”

Renjun flushes, and the tight grip on Jaemin weakens just enough to Jaemin to push him off, gently shoving him into Jeno’s lap instead, curling over Renjun’s shoulder and running his hands all along Renjun’s chest. “So pretty,” Jaemin murmurs, and nips at the skin of his neck, worrying it until a red mark blooms, the first he’s given Renjun directly. Jeno watches in fascination as an identical spot slowly appears on Jaemin, adding to the mess already there, and knows he has one too.

He watches for a while until Renjun makes a sound of complaint and drags his attention back with a hand on his jaw, fiery gaze focused and intense in deep brown eyes. “Fuck it,” he says, and surges forward to kiss him, almost pushing Jeno over. Jeno was right when he compared it to a dance, because Renjun tilts his head and twists his tongue and Jeno just tries to keep up. 

“Ah,” Renjun says into his mouth, free hand grasping for Jaemin’s wrist where he’s slipping his fingers into his jeans, deftly undoing the button. Jeno throws whatever hesitation he may have been holding on to away and cups Renjun’s face with both hands, pulling him into the kiss. Jaemin grins, Cheshire, and helps Jeno rearrange so that Renjun’s on his back against the pillows, Jeno curved over him and Jaemin quickly tugging his jeans and underwear all the way off at once.

Jaemin whistles, sitting back on his heels, and traces up his smooth, pale thighs. “Pretty,” he says again, and Renjun jolts in Jeno’s hold when he kisses the skin just below his navel. “Gonna blow you.”

“Wh-” Renjun’s question cuts off because Jaemin is not a patient lover, taking him into his mouth without preamble. Jeno swallows his swears, because he knows the warmth of Jaemin’s mouth.

“How do you want to do this,” Renjun manages to get out between staccato moans pressed against Jeno’s lips. “I’ve never- ah, had a, a threesome before.” 

“A first time for everything,” Jaemin says cheekily, popping up for just a moment, and then sucks him down again. Renjun groans.

“How am- how are we supposed to get anywhere- if, ah- if you won’t let me talk-!” 

“Jaemin doesn’t have much of a gag reflex,” Jeno mutters, stroking his fingers through Jaemin’s freshly dyed pink hair and lightly pushing on the back of his head. Renjun’s hips kick up and Jeno can feel the way Jaemin’s throat constricts from memory. Jaemin hums proudly, and deepthroats Renjun again.

“I’m gonna- Jaemin, shit,” he moans, and the way he’s trying to stave off coming makes Jaemin more determined, and Jeno runs his hands along Renjun’s sides, lightly brushing his fingers over his chest.

“Come on, Renjun,” he says, and Renjun’s back arches off the bed with a shout when Jeno leans down to graze his teeth across sensitive skin. His stomach tightens, and the only other sign of him coming is the slight trail from Jaemin’s mouth that he swipes clean with his tongue, satisfied and sitting back on his heels.

“Fuck.” Renjun’s eyes slip shut, and Jaemin grins, reaching for Jeno to pull him in for a kiss.

“Gross,” he manages between Jaemin shoving his tongue into his mouth, and Jaemin laughs, all angles in the low light.

“You think it’s hot,” he purrs, pushing his knee between Jeno’s and pressing against him. “Don’t lie. I want Jeno to fuck me and I want Renjun to fuck Jeno,” he announces, and Jeno twitches.

“Isn’t that a bit much-”

“Fuck yes,” Renjun pants, “yeah, let’s- yeah. Good. A Jeno sandwich.”

Jaemin and Jeno slowly turn to look at him, and Renjun flushes bright red, attempting to roll over and away before Jaemin pounces, all bare limbs and smooth skin, wrapping around Renjun to block his escape.

“Exactly! Good enough to eat,” he says and looks at Jeno with a wolfish glint in his eyes. “A Jeno sandwich.”

“Please forget I said that,” Renjun mumbles, and Jaemin shakes his head. 

“No way. Never.” He kisses Renjun’s neck, straddling one of his legs. 

Jaemin yelps as Renjun flips them, and then grabs Jeno’s wrist, making eye contact. “Jeno? Is that okay?”

“Um,” Jeno replies, sorting through the cacophony of thoughts in his mind before pushing them all away. For now, it's just him and his soulmates and their first time. “Sure.”

“Sure?” Renjun echos, raising a brow and Jeno laughs. 

“Yes. Yes, yes a hundred times yes.”

It takes some rearranging to figure out where they should be, and more than once Jaemin accidentally hits someone in his excitement to get all their clothes off. They end up with Jaemin against the pillows, Jeno on his knees in front of him, and Renjun to the side. Jaemin ruffles through the top drawer of his bedside table, tossing a bottle of lube at him.

“You first,” he says, and Renjun catches it, blinking.

“Jaemin’s kind of a voyeur,” Jeno offers, and shrugs. “He likes to watch me do it.”

“‘Cause you’re hot.” Jaemin wiggles his fingers in Jeno’s direction with a wink. “And I like the little sounds you make when you can’t reach far enough and end up asking me to finger you.”

“Shit,” Renjun swears, and he fumbles briefly with the cap, “that’s a hell of a mental picture.”

“Doesn’t have to be mental,” Jaemin says coyly, tugging on Jeno’s shoulders until he falls forward onto his hands and knees, hoving above him. “Bring it to life, baby.”

“Cheesy,” Jeno mutters, and this part is always embarrassing, but it helps that Renjun lightly pushes a hand against the small of Jeno’s back to get him to arch down, delightfully within reach of Jaemin’s lips. He can hear the slick sounds of Renjun covering his fingers, but Jaemin yanks him back when he turns to look over his shoulder. He feels exposed, and even though the air is warm goosebumps raise along his arms. Renjun doesn’t say anything about the shudder that runs through him at the first touch of cool lube on sensitive skin.

Jeno groans deep in his chest at the first finger because it's been a while since he last bottomed. Renjun pauses and Jaemin breaks away from the kiss to watch the way Jeno’s eyes flutter shut. After a moment, Jaemin whispers, “Another. He can take it.” Because Jaemin will always know Jeno better than he knows himself, and vice versa, and, once they get to know Renjun, he’ll join them. And Jaemin is right; the second finger slides in easily with how relaxed Jeno is, surrounded by his soulmates. He almost forgets how hard he is until Jaemin reaches between them and brushes against him. 

He groans, and Renjun drapes over his back, crooking his fingers. Jaemin stares up at him, transfixed, and Jeno ducks his head to avoid his gaze. Jaemin chuckles and angles back in for a kiss, wrapping his hand around him and stroking once, twice, the way Jeno likes, and Renjun times the push of the third finger with the twist of Jaemin’s wrist.

“Oh fuck,” he swears when Renjun presses down on sensitive nerves, making Jeno jolt further into Jaemin’s hold. “Hold on-”

“Keep going,” Jaemin whispers, watching Jeno’s face. “He’s not gonna come just yet. I’ll tell you when.” Jeno can feel Renjun nod against his shoulder, and then his arms give out with another firm brush of Renjun’s fingers against his prostate. Jaemin catches him, hands winding behind his neck. 

“F-fuck, oh-” Renjun’s fingers are perfect, slim and precise and Jeno wonders if Jaemin is wrong and if he is going to end up coming early. 

“You’re so hot,” Renjun murmurs, sounding almost as breathless as Jeno feels. “Christ, Jeno.”

“Stop,” Jaemin finally says, and Renjun quirks his head at him. Jaemin chuckles, cheeks red. “Not because of Jeno. I’m getting impatient. My turn with our new soulmate.”

“Oh- okay- oh!” Renjun doesn’t sound prepared for the way Jaemin pushes them around quickly, and Jeno laughs as Jaemin rearranges them how he sees fit and then is bracing himself over Renjun’s hand.

“He has a vision,” Jeno explains, smoothing his palm down Jaemin’s back just to watch the way he arches into his touch before leaning down to kiss Renjun. “And it always ends up fun so I just let him do it.”

“Oh,” Renjun mumbles against his lips. “Okay.”

“Jeno you- you just- ah, always take too long,” Jaemin gasps, guiding Renjun’s wrist and carefully descending onto fingers Jeno can’t see. “Always tease me too much.”

Renjun does something that makes him shudder, and Renjun grins. “Maybe because you’re easy to tease, baby.”

“Fuck,” Jaemin hisses, and Jeno trails a hand down to where two of Renjun’s fingers are buried. The noise Jaemin makes when Jeno slots one of his own in next to Renjun’s is loud and gorgeous and the way he tosses his head is captivating. He barely avoids knocking into Renjun, and they make out messily through giggles. “Enough, enough,” Jaemin groans, shoving them around again until they’re in the same position as the beginning, with Jeno surrounded. 

“Condom?” Renjun asks, eyes flicking between Jeno and Jaemin and the obvious lack of one. It’s a small reminder that he’s new, that he’s never done this with them, but Jeno agrees with Jaemin as he shakes his head, hair splayed out across the pillows.

“Not unless you have a reason to.”

“I don’t.” He bites briefly down on his lip and Jeno suppresses the urge to tuck away and find cover, feeling strung out and sensitive. Renjun runs his hands down Jeno’s back, gently nudging him forward. “Are you ready?” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Jeno answers, staring down at Jaemin who curls his fingers around Jeno’s jaw. There’s a tension in the air, something unspoken whispering about new beginnings and discovered loves, and maybe it’s just inevitable that Renjun adjusts and then pushes in, but it feels a little bit like the universe pulling them together. Jaemin watches, watches the way Renjun’s face pinches up trying to stay controlled and paced, watches the way Jeno’s mouth drops open and eyes shut.

“You’re really tight,” Renjun grits, hands gripping Jeno’s hips. When Jeno doesn’t say anything for a moment, he adds, “Are you okay?”

“It’s been a while,” Jeno gasps in response and feels Jaemin press a kiss to his forehead. “Just- a minute, give me a minute.”

“I wish you could see yourselves,” Jaemin says, and he looks more fucked out than Jeno feels, eyes blown wide and cheeks flushed. “God.” For a second it feels like he’s going to kiss Jeno again but he doesn’t; his eyes flick from Renjun’s face to Jeno’s and then to their bodies and their hands. 

“You really do like watching,” Renjun muses, and Jeno wonders how they’re capable of carrying a conversation while his world is being rebuilt. 

“Watching is nice but right now I’d really like to be fucked.” Jaemin taps at Jeno’s cheeks with his fingers. “You good? Can I?”

“Yeah,” Jeno responds, strained. “Yes. I’m good.” Jaemin smiles, glows, and then his fingers wrap around Jeno, and then guides him in, open and hot and the sensations are almost overwhelming. Renjun, solid against his back and inside him, and Jaemin settling below and around him. “Ah- oh-”

Jaemin swears, grasping at Jeno’s shoulders and there are sure to be bruises there, joined by the ones Renjun is pressing into his waist. They just started and Jeno already feels impossibly close to coming, surrounded on all sides and so, so aroused.

“I’m gonna- gonna move,” Renjun whispers, and maybe it’s not just Jeno because his voice is wrecked, tense and shaking. Jeno just nods, readjusting on his knees and making sure Jaemin is comfortable, thighs bracketing his sides.

“Fuck,” Jaemin moans, loud, with the first tentative push of Renjun’s hips. He’s always loud when they fuck, but Jeno can barely hear him over the rushing in his ears and the groan that comes from his own mouth, desperate and ringing. Every move Renjun makes sets off a reaction, pushing Jeno further against Jaemin and then pulling him back, driving them all together. Jeno can tell when they’ve found the perfect angle because Jaemin keens and arches, hand scrabbling to grab Renjun’s over Jeno’s shoulder, lacing their fingers together. 

There’s something new and wild about this; there’s an intimacy in learning how Renjun’s breath picks up, in feelings Jeno’s never felt before, in the way Jaemin’s eyes switch between looking at him and looking behind him at Renjun but he never feels like he has any less of their attention. The energy in the room hums and builds and crests around them, and maybe this is what it’s like to be gifted a third perfect extension of your heart. 

The room is bathed in light from the setting sun, shining golden across them, and Jeno is blindsided by pleasure, rushing hot through his veins and swimming over his vision. Jaemin gasps, tightening in surprise, and tips his head back, baring his bruised and marked up neck. Overstimulation sings like lightning in Jeno’s muscles, and he groans, going limp against Jaemin’s chest while Renjun speeds up, fucking him into Jaemin with abandon.

“Oh my god,” Jaemin manages, and Jeno gets a hand around him and weakly jerks him off, the angle awkward and strange between their bodies. It almost hurts, the way Renjun hasn’t stopped and how tight Jaemin is but Jeno doesn’t ever want it to end, not even when Renjun moans something about coming and Jaemin breathlessly begs for more. Jaemin’s the last of them to climax, shuddering and shaking apart under Jeno and Renjun’s attention. 

They’re all sticky and messy and they barely get cleaned up and into bed between Jaemin’s grabby hands, always craving attention after sex, and Renjun’s brief, brushing touches that make Jeno twitch. But they manage.

Jeno yawns, can feel his eyelids drooping in exhaustion, and Jaemin copies him, stretching out. Renjun hovers just outside of the covers until Jeno smiles at him, sensing the hesitation, and tugs him down into the middle. Jaemin immediately curls around him, slotting their legs together and sighing against his back. Renjun blinks at Jeno, face to face, and he looks so pretty in the evening light, shadows over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Jeno knows that inevitably Jaemin will wake up hungry in a few hours, dragging them to the kitchen while he cooks, satisfied and glowing. He knows that he’ll complain and whine about not having showered, and how they didn’t change the sheets, but will follow anyways, because laundry can wait.

He doesn’t know what Renjun will do, if he’ll sleep through it or wake on his own or if he’ll even sleep at all. What he does know, though, is that Renjun will be there whenever they wake.

Jeno’s not sure exactly where it comes from, but he whispers into the quiet, “I’m pretty sure I love you.” He watches Renjun’s face color, can almost feel the warmth from his skin.

“Oh,” he says, eyes fluttering shut. “Oh.”

Jaemin makes a sound, a hum deep in his chest, and noses against the back of Renjun’s neck. “I know we haven’t known you for that long, and I know there’s this whole soulmate thing that’s brought us together, but I want you to stay. For tonight, and maybe forever. I want to know more about your life, more about what you like; I want to take you on all kinds of museum dates and take you to picnics on spring days.”

“I don’t want to intrude,” Renjun confesses quietly, and Jeno brushes a hand along his jaw. “You two have been together for years and I… I just found you. I feel like I don’t belong yet. I want to do all those things too, but…” he trails off, and Jeno feels a pang of something in his chest, something longing.

“Things will be different,” he finally says after a moment. “Since you’re right. But… part of falling in l… love, is learning. I’m always learning new things about Jaemin, and myself, and like you said we’ve been together for years. I don’t want you to feel like you have to fit in, uh, between us, or anything. You’re not us, you’re Renjun, and we want you as you are. Plus, I have my own worries about this, about us. But we’re going to work on them, and together. If you want,” he adds quickly, because this is heavy for essentially their first real deep talk. “Having two soulmates is really uncharted territory. There’s a lot to learn.”

“That was a long-winded way of saying none of us know what we’re doing.” Jaemin presses close to Renjun, and from experience Jeno knows that he can probably feel the light brush of Jaemin’s long eyelashes against his skin. “Thinking about it is important but also just… feeling. So, for now, let’s just feel this out some. Figure out what works and what doesn’t. We’ve got plenty of time.”

Renjun sniffles, and Jeno flails briefly. “Don’t- don’t cry, shit- don’t-”

“I’m happy,” Renjun interrupts, a hand coming up to wipe at his face and Jaemin grabs it before he can tuck it back under the covers, lacing their fingers together. “Ever since I realized I had a soulmate I’ve been keeping it a secret, because well, you know what it’s like to have no one you want to tell. I was so jealous of anyone who found theirs. And look,” his voice cracks a bit and he burrows against Jeno’s chest, “I have two. I’m so fucking lucky.”

Jaemin coos and blinks at Jeno over Renjun’s shoulder. “You do. And we’re so lucky to have found you. We’ll make it work. We’ve already figured out how the sex can work, and that’s half the battle.”

“Shut up,” Renjun sighs, shaking his head. “But you’re right.”

“I usually am,” Jaemin says, and his voice is getting sleepier. “And I’m right when I say we should take a nap, and then I’ll make us a really nice dinner, and we can call Mark and gross him out about the amazing sex we had. And then you can stay the night, and I’ll give you an extra toothbrush.”

“I didn’t get an extra toothbrush for like three months,” Jeno complains, and Renjun snorts a quiet laugh, but doesn’t say anything. “But I agree. For now, nap.”

The room falls into a silent warmth, full of possibilities and the future and all the things that may come with it. And, Jeno thinks, looking over his two soulmates beside him, the other parts of his heart to go through it with. And he may not always feel like enough, and Renjun may feel out of place, and Jaemin might feel insecure, but they have each other. There’s something lovely about the thought, and Jeno holds on to it as he doses off. 

They’ll always have each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it for that folks! thanks so much for reading <3  
> thanks forever to @moonfleur_ for putting up with me throughout this <3 and helping beta and listening to me yell about being unable to write for forever  
> I'm on twitter at @naeuioneonenine !!!
> 
> thanks again <3


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